


Dear Doppelganger

by RainedMirror



Series: These Melodies We Call Life [4]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Galra Keith (Voltron), Gen, Keith (Voltron) Angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-28
Updated: 2018-03-02
Packaged: 2019-03-25 03:29:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,269
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13825527
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RainedMirror/pseuds/RainedMirror
Summary: Keith didn't believe in a lot of things.He knew what he had to do.





	1. Chapter 1

If Keith was being honest, he doesn't like Lance. Not that he'd ever say that to his face, but the fact that Lance repeatedly proclaims the two of them are rivals when he really rather be alone, and his half antagonistic attitude towards him is something that rubs him the wrong way, gives a terrible feeling in his gut. And while he didn't mean to end up in the number one spot, since he just naturally ended up there, it was almost as if Lance wanted to replace him, wanted nothing but him gone. He thanked the fact that he was a loner and didn't really care much about the one-sided rivalry and the mockery sent his direction. 

Keith didn't believe it would last.

Then one day, he got kicked out of the Garrison, after Shiro disappeared along with the Keroberos mission. He knew in the back of his mind that Lance was probably gleefully celebrating his expulsion. So he moved to the desert, far away from the Garrison, and where a nagging feeling told him to search. He wanted to stay away, and enjoy the feeling of solitude.

Keith didn't believe that would last long either.

Sure enough, on the day he instinctively predicted Shiro would crash back onto Earth, there he was, Lance and two of his friends that he never bothered to learn the name of. They insisted on coming with him to save Shiro, so he reluctantly let them. He then brought them to search with him and then got shot into space in a blue lion and had to fight a space war against the Galra and pilot something called Voltron and told by two Atleans named Allura and Coran.

Keith didn't believe he could find a place here.

He is the Red Paladin, Allura said so, but they don't have his lion yet. Lance gave him this smug grin, as if saying he is better than him because he doesn't have his lion yet. He reigns himself in, because Shiro is leading, and he doesn't really need him to sow discord in the team when they should be working together. Keith silently hopes nobody could replace him after he finds his lion. 

Keith didn't believe those words.

He learns he is partially Galran, just one more step for Lance to take over him. He isn't the enemy, he isn't a loner who has a load of walls up that he refuses to break down and he has amiable relationships with every other person on deck. Every other person but him. Keith? Allura hates him now, for his heritage that he couldn't control, and Hunk and Pidge prod him like he is a test subject, and Lance is Lance. Shiro tells him they would warm up to him eventually, after they get used to it. 

Keith didn't believe Shiro. 

Shiro disappears, vanishes from the Black lion, and he doesn't want to believe it. He doesn't want to take over, he can't be Shiro, he can't be a doppelganger of someone, he is Keith, he can never be Shiro. Lance doesn't seem to mind so much when he has to be Keith. Keith reigns in his anger. For Shiro. For the universe. 

Keith didn't believe he could hide the fractures.

Lance looks so comfortable being him, even though Keith knows he is supposedly as uncomfortable as him being Shiro. Keith calmly bares a grin and Lance looks at him. And yet, he can't help but feel envious. He doesn't have that ability to easily be someone else that everyone else wants him to be, and yet Lance does. He is jealous that Lance might take away his position has the Red Paladin. But at the end of it all, it is still the same, Keith knows he is inadequate. 

Keith didn't believe those feelings would go away.

He is joining the Blade he tells the team. Shiro has returned, he explains, he is standing in Shiro’s way, Shiro can pilot the Black Lion now, he is better off helping fight Lotor, gathering intel and so on. He knows it is all excuses in the end, and yet somehow it was enough to convince them to let him leave. Lance casually remarks who he is going to make fun of once he leaves. Keith already knows the answer. (It would still be him.) 

Keith didn't believe he was useful to Voltron, not anymore. 

Keith had drove the ship towards the shields, ready to let himself die to take it down. At least then he could have been useful. Pity he was saved by Lotor himself. He meets up with Paladins again, only to have Lance happily show up in front of him, saying how he isn't the only samurai anymore, showing him as Lance transforms the red bayard into a broadsword. Keith breaks a little at the sight, knowing full well that Lance has taken over.

Keith didn't believe he should have lived. 

Keith continued to look at Lance as Lance happily babbled on and on. It felt strange, it was like looking at a mirror, at a doppelganger that had taken his place. Not only that, but a better version of him, a version that everybody else wanted but he couldn't be. He was jealous, he was the one who had it taken away, all of it… 

Keith didn't believe in a lot of things.

The universe proved him right on all counts.


	2. Chapter 2

Keith knows what he must do. 

He sits in the the next communication between Voltron and the Blades. He knows that it would probably make them less hostile. Who, he wasn't sure. 

Even Kolivan discusses things with Shiro and Allura, Keith watches. They looks so happy on the screen, and he wonders if they could be when he was there. They didn't have somebody actively pushing them away, didn't have somebody who had the blood of the enemy coursing through their veins. He plasters a fake smile on his face, swallowing all his envy. 

Keith knows what he must do. 

While he still misses them (not that he will ever admit it, not now, not ever), it is almost like they forgot about him. He rarely gets invited back to the Castle anymore, and he barely sits in when Voltron calls the Blades. He shoves it out of his mind, going on mission after mission, desperately making himself seem useful, even though he knows he is a kit by Galran standards. He keeps it up anyway, wanting be someone that means something. 

‘I can live your life better than you can.’ is all Keith hears in his dreams. He doesn't really question it, he knows it is true. Otherwise he wouldn't be stuck in his lonesome, after all. Even back when he is an orphan, he got picked and sent back over another better one. Even back when he is at the Garrison, he got kicked out and replaced. Even back in Voltron, Lance fully took on his role as the Red Paladin as the seat of the Lion isn't made for two. Even now, in the Blades, he is considered to be a kit, and thus any other more experienced could do his role as a member better. He ignores the facts and keeps trying. (That's how he is, isn't it?)

Like clockwork, his luck ends up with him getting saved again, whether he wants to or not. He doesn't understand anymore. If anybody can do what he can, why do they care about him? Why not just let him be, and pick somebody else better? As the questions run in his mind, for once he couldn't come with an excuse. 

Later would be the last meeting between Voltron and the Blades. He wonders if he should sit in again, even though he hasn't done so in a while. After a few moments of deliberation, he chooses to sit in for the first time in a long time. When he enters, he immediately notices Allura looking confused and staring at him on the screen. Keith walks back out, regretting his decision.

Keith knows what he must do. 

For what it is worth, everybody is fighting, and him, no exception. It is near the end of the battle, and they are almost winning anyways. Except they now want to form Voltron, and Lance is a distance aways from the Red Lion at the moment. The Red Lion is available for him to steal back, and they want to end it quick before the Galra are able to return fire. Keith finds himself close to Red, but… 

As easy it is to steal back what was stolen from him, Keith doesn't want to. Not anymore. He isn't close to anyone on the team. He is gone for way too long and detached from his former friends. He wasn't sure he has the bond with Red anymore, and he doesn't know if he could form Voltron when the rest of them view him as a stranger. 

Dozens of images of Voltron doing better when he wasn't around floating in his mind seals his decision to stay out of Red, no matter how much his mind and body is itching him to. He sticks around to protect the Red Lion while waiting for Lance to get back, hanging outside the lion, until a familiar red blade pierces through his chest. Keith turns his head a slight bit to see Lance, shocked as if it was an accident. ‘That badly, huh…’ runs through his mind and the blade gets pulled out and he crumpled to the floor.

Even as Keith is lying on the ground, bleeding out and watching Lance climbs into Red and starts flying away to form Voltron, Keith wonders if it was truly an accident. The only thing running through his mind was betrayal, and yet he couldn't stay mad. He was just standing in his way of taking his place after all. Lance has done a better job than him at being the Red Paladin, a better job than him at being him, done a better job at being a decent being… And so Keith knows. He won't steal another’s position for himself. 

HE WILL FADE. 

And that would be it, just another name in the casualties of war. Everyone will forget about him and be fine with that.

Right?

He won't be awake to know the answer, after all. 

(When he wakes up, he learns Shiro has his jacket. Just like all those years ago… When the Shiroganes adopted him.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you didn't notice, before the line HE WILL FADE, check the first letter of each paragraph...


	3. Chapter 3

He couldn't. They won't let him. They won't take him. 

He woke up in a pod, with just Shiro greeting him as he unceremoniously falls out. Kolivan isn't there, but Shiro tells him he is settling with the fallout after they won. Keith chokes a bit. Even death decided they won't take him. He wants to die so badly, to fade, disappear into the trash chute like the useless trash he is, there is always somebody else better and he can't live up to that role, not anymore. 

Before he realised it, Shiro had held him in an embrace. And before he realised it, tears start pouring out. It is a rare moment of emotion from him, but he doesn't really care since nobody else knows. The others likely forgot about him, they were nowhere to be seen, even though he is in the Castle at the moment. 

Shiro tells him he wouldn't forget. Keith wants to believe him, wants to desperately believe him, even though the universe has proved him that he shouldn't so many times. As Keith gradually gets tired from crying and exhaustion, Shiro wordlessly picks him up and carries him into a guest room (he will never admit he has carried Keith to the Red Paladin’s room before realising Keith isn't, not anymore.) and drapes the jacket he kept over Keith. 

Here's the thing about space: as you travel faster and closer to the speed of light, time warps and slows down for you while time moves at a regular speed for someone else. While the clocks Pidge built clearly states they have been gone for a year, for Earth it has been a decade.

Keith didn't even have a family to begin with, so he just stayed in the Castle, as Kolivan was making discussions about adopting him. The others… they had chose to go home, even if they are now younger than some of their younger siblings in all technical definition. So when Shiro returned, he was surprised to see him.

‘Shiro… Why are you here? Don't you have a family to go back to?’

Shiro looked away slightly, frowning, and Keith understands. 

‘Come here.’ he says, as Keith locks Shiro in an embrace, just like Shiro did after he came out of the pod when the fight against Zarkon was over. 

‘Kolivan is going to adopt me, you know.’ he whispers while in the embrace.

Shiro’s grip around him tightens a bit. Keith understands. As easy it is to rub in the fact he has a family now instead of Shiro… He can share. There is no reason to steal and take. 

‘I think he would welcome you in too. Nii-san.’ Keith whispers. He would have to convince Kolivan later. Shiro hugs tighter, as tears fall from the older man.

Keith knew that his place and positions was taken many times. He knew he should be selfish and protect what can be stolen. But for now, he has a place. One that he could share and not have it stolen. And that was enough.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I felt bad leaving it like that, so...

**Author's Note:**

> I don't actually hate any character, but Keith is really fun to give the short end of the stick to.
> 
> That said, shutout to caramelfuzz for inspiring this entire thing. See the original here: https://caramelfuzz.tumblr.com/post/171363197527/angsty-drabble-sorry-dudez


End file.
